You shouldn’t go to the massive concert on the night before the World Cup starts because, depending on who you listen to: it isn’t African enough; the promoters were sanction-busters; soccer players didn’t get free tickets to World Cup matches; the local organising committee is a bunch of lying scumbags; and concert tickets are too expensive. But if you do go you’ll be safe – except if you aren’t.

Saturday’s historic final final in the Super 14 rugby tournament – next year 15 teams compete – showed rugby at its grandest and South Africans united as only once before. Suddenly, anything seems possible again.

It may not entirely be South Africa’s “paper of record,” our equivalent of the New York Times, but it’s close enough. On May 30, with less than two weeks to go before kick-off, the Sunday Times crammed itself full of revealing World Cup stories – and in doing so took the temperature of a planet.

Centuries ago, wars were put on “pause” for the Olympic games. Today, sport is the new battleground: textured by patriotic fervour and loaded with political and ethnic fanaticism. Brace yourself for the coming two months, South Africa.

Bart Simpson’s writing on the blackboard: “I will not make fun of Ray McCauley. I will not make fun of Ray McCauley. I will not make fun of Ray McCauley…”

There’s been talk that on the streets of one of the most football-mad cities on Earth, interest levels in South Africa are unprecedented. But with less than three weeks to go until the World Cup kick-off, that seems not entirely to be the case.  

More than a few whities got a tour of a township for the first time in their lives on Saturday, and South Africa is perhaps just a little more united than it was before that. But God help us if we don't figure out how to get crowds to and from stadiums within the next couple of days.

Sepp Blatter’s spectacle is here. Just about. Which means intrepid tourists - unfazed by mild insurrections, crumbling roads, strikes, crime or the myriad botherations that make South Africa wonderfully unique  - are packing. Here’s what to pack, where to go and how to apologise for colonialism.

Over the course of his illustrious career, Lance Armstrong has faced dozens of accusations of doping – and he’s beaten them all. The latest, published in the Wall Street Journal, comes from former team-mate and disgraced Tour de France (non)winner Floyd Landis. Should Lance’s fans be worried? 

Not that Joburgers don’t know how to handle themselves in running street battles, but according to the convenor of an influential London-based supporter’s club, there’ll be no trouble from England fans at World Cup 2010. What there will be, he promises, is interest and respect.

There is a lot of Middle Eastern politics behind claims, this week, that the World Cup was being targeted by a (now incarcerated) Al Qaeda old hand. Not that it matters, just like it doesn't really matter whether the plot was real or would succeed in any significant way. Once this genie is out of the bottle, it's hard to put back in again.

The way the mainstream media has covered Lord Triesman’s off-the-record allegations of ref bribery at World Cup 2010 is yet more evidence of Fifa’s power (and, perhaps, its rotten core). Who’s the tail and who’s the dog here?  

You'll have to excuse us if this report is a little short of substance. That's simply an accurate reflection of what happened in Sandton on Monday morning: lots of flashing lights and prettily coloured smoke to show that the police are ready for the World Cup, and awfully little detail.

There’s a lot you won’t find in the official biographies of Fifa president Sepp Blatter. You won’t find, for example, anything about the numerous corruption scandals he’s been implicated in. What you will find, though, is a long list of his awards, knighthoods and honorary doctorates.

His first book, published in 1989, was about a connection between Scotland Yard and narcotics syndicates. His last, published in 2006, was about the criminal dealings of Fifa. The Daily Maverick asked investigative reporter Andrew Jennings for his opinions on Sepp Blatter and the World Cup.

South Africans aren't interested in buying tickets for the World Cup? Tell that to the guy who rushed the doors of the Sandton ticket office shortly after it opened, got thrown back with considerable violence – and then got up to try again.

Across the big ocean, baseball's many fans are preparing for another mouth-watering season of action. But baseball, like cricket, is also much more than just about hitting and catching a ball. It is a true timeless metaphor for American life.

Premier Soccer League and World Cup organising boss Irvin Khoza says reports that he is planning a coup at the SA Football Association (just months before the World Cup starts) are completely fabricated. No meetings, no agenda, no nothing. Oh, and his spokesman wasn’t speaking on his behalf when he started pointing fingers.

The ugly fight over who’s going to control South African soccer that was exposed on the pages of Sunday Times this past weekend came as no surprise. But genuinely worrying is how neatly it fits into the mosaic that is SA’s political scene.

Thank the gods of rugby for the boys in blue – the Stormers this time. Their decisive 33-0 victory over the hapless Highlanders has done wonders for the Cape Town team’s mythology as the dark horses in this year’s Super 14 – and wonders for the reputation of back-up hooker Deon Fourie who scored the game’s first try with a man-of-the-match performance.

Hurricanes tame Lions, Sharks tank against Crusaders, Cheetahs go down to Highlanders, Bulls roar back to batter skilled Waratahs.

Bulls beat Brumbies hands down; Sharks mauled by Cheetahs; Stormers blow away Waratahs.

After three months of silence, Tiger Woods apologised to the world. The world’s buying it about as much as South Africans bought Jacob Zuma’s mea culpa, but that doesn’t mean we can’t wait to see him back on the course (Tiger, not JZ).

It is a sad, mad and downright bizarre story about the young athlete who once stood on the winner's  podium of the world's toughest cycle race, but now stands officially accused of hacking into the French national anti-doping laboratory computers.

Also this weekend: Bulls get off to cracking start in defence of Super 14 title, while Stormers overpower Lions.

Starting today, there will be many anxious men watching TV to see how the rugby teams they follow religiously will perform. And we're not talking about the Bulls fans wondering whether their team can retain the Super 14 title, or the Stormers fans still betting on a dark horse, or even the Sharks believers who remain convinced their team has not reached its full potential.

Big athletes pulling out, the organisers clamping down on free speech, an incredibly hectic security situation? Are these Vancouver’s Winter Games or that other event with the round ball down in Africa?

The Saints won the Superbowl. And if you don't understand why that is important – financially and psychologically – you really need this quick education on the sport, the game, and the all-important advertising.

A tournament that started so badly it can only be said to have ended well, after Pharaohs won their record seventh Africa Cup of Nations title, beating Ghana 1-0 in Luanda. Last night's final was the 19th game they’ve won in succession in Africa Cups, another great record.