It’s rare to get a glimpse of what life in Somalia is actually like, especially in those parts controlled by al-Shabaab. A new report by Human Rights Watch into the experiences of that troubled country’s children gives us some insight into what growing up there is really like. It’s not easy reading. By SIMON ALLISON.

This week saw the broadcast of the 500th episode of The Simpsons. REBECCA DAVIS ponders the source of the world’s affection for the yellow cartoon family.

This isn’t a parallel universe, but it reads like one: Embattled Portuguese dreaming of a better life are leaving their country for the fair shores of… Mozambique. The decline of Europe is throwing up its fair share of ironies, but there’s no reason yet for Africans to get too excited. By SIMON ALLISON.

Robert Mugabe turns 88 today. Not having been invited to the lavish festivities, SIMON ALLISON writes Comrade Bob a birthday letter instead, telling Zimbabwe’s addled president exactly what would make the best birthday gift of all.

Last year, Malawi was rocked by huge street protests as long-simmering discontent with President Bingu wa Mutharika’s increasingly autocratic rule boiled over. These were immediately and brutally suppressed. Mutharika told his people to stop “crying like chickens”. Since then, Malawi has been out of the spotlight. These days, it’s hotter than ever and might be ready to explode. By SIMON ALLISON.

South Africa’s Ogaden refugees have requested the police, the prosecuting authority and the International Criminal Court to investigate damning allegations of human rights abuses against the Ethiopian government. The allegations are not new, but the legal action may force South African officials to take a more proactive stance against human rights abuses in Africa. By KHADIJA PATEL.

Now’s not a good time to work for an NGO in Zimbabwe. State media is demonising you, Zanu-PF is calling you foreign-funded subversives, and one provincial governor has just banned the NGOs he doesn’t like. Why the attack on civil society? SIMON ALLISON lets his nose lead him to answers.

Over the last while there's been a something of rallying cry for Africans to tell their own stories. But all too often proponents are more in love with discussing the idea than figuring out practical ways to make it happen. 18 Days in Egypt, a start-up that focuses on documenting the revolution, is turning the concept into a reality – and, moreover, using an innovative, collaborative digital platform to do so. By THERESA MALLINSON.

Nigeria’s security forces and Boko Haram are swapping claims, counterclaims and denials faster than confused journalists can type them up. Finding the facts in the midst of it all is almost impossible, so SIMON ALLISON doesn’t even try; but even analysing the spin tells us a few things about where Nigeria is at the moment.

So Al Shabaab and al Qaeda have finally formalised their cosy little arrangement. Uncomfortable perhaps with all the flirting and co-habiting that was going on – a decidedly un-Islamic state of affairs – the two Islamist militant groups, sealed the deal in true terrorist fashion: with an online video. By SIMON ALLISON.

The only dark cloud on the horizon of African economic optimism is the decline of western economies. Africa doesn’t trade with itself, but with Europe, America and Asia. If the continent’s really going to move forward, this needs to change – but there are plenty obstacles to overcome first. SIMON ALLISON wades through most of a long World Bank report that examines the many and varied barriers to intra-African trade.

This is more like it, South Africa. A cooperation deal signed with Tanzania and Mozambique to pre-emptively fight the pirate threat that hasn’t even materialised yet is exactly what we should be doing with our political and military strength. Let’s have more of this, and less of the diplomatic bullying. By SIMON ALLISON.

Jacob Zuma’s in trouble again, although he probably wouldn’t have seen this one coming. Militants in Nigeria are unhappy with Zuma’s "interference" in the Niger Delta and have promised to make Nigeria impossible for South African companies until he backs off. But as far as anyone can make out, the Niger Delta is one area from which Zuma has stayed away completely. So why are the militants so angry? SIMON ALLISON investigates.

They may be through to the Afcon semifinals, but Mali’s celebrations have been tempered by tensions at home. Midfielder Seydou Keita – of Barcelona fame – appealed for peace, saying how sad he and his team were at the increasingly disturbing reports of the Tuareg rebellion dividing the country. By SIMON ALLISON.

Advice to aspiring diplomats: Don’t hug war criminals, and especially don’t be photographed hugging them. That’s what happened to Ibrahim Gambari, the UN’s man in Darfur, when he ran into Sudan’s President Bashir at a glitzy wedding in Khartoum. But here’s the thing: hugs and socialising are part of diplomacy, and might be what’s needed to keep the faltering peace process going. By SIMON ALLISON.

William Gibson, the science fiction writer and coiner of the term 'cyberspace', has long observed that the future isn't really the future, but an elusive slice of the present. Nothing proves his theory more than Addis Ababa. By RICHARD POPLAK.

If this isn’t a sign of how far the USA has fallen, I don’t know what is. Twenty years ago it would have been American workers targeted by rebel groups. But the times they are a-changing, and two kidnappings in the last week suggest China’s increasingly dominant role in the world – and especially Africa – is being recognised. And not in a good way. By SIMON ALLISON.

Another of our southern African neighbours is embarking on a round of nationalisation. Don’t be afraid, at least not yet. Unlike Zimbabwe, Zambia’s plan is well thought through and designed to correct the rampant corruption that accompanied the previous administration’s privatisation deals. By SIMON ALLISON.

When Vodacom’s business partnership in the Congo fell apart at the seams, and the company’s directors in the DRC were about to land in jail, the mobile giant’s chairman phoned Moto Mabanga, a fixer with firm ANC connections. Mabanga fixed the problem all right, but he and Vodacom had a difference of opinion on a little matter of a multi-million dollar success fee. No problem for Mabanga; he’s managed to get a Kinshasa commercial court to make a $21-million award against Vodacom. Now if only Vodacom would recognise the DRC’s jurisdiction. By MANDY DE WAAL.

As Dlamini-Zuma and Ping slugged it out to head the African Union Commission, Benin’s President Thomas Yayi Boni was quietly chosen as chairman of the AU itself. He’s a decent choice to take on the largely ceremonial role – certainly better than the dictators and autocrats that preceded him. By SIMON ALLISON.

A highly anticipated election for the position of African Union Commission chairperson petered out into a stalemate after four rounds of voting failed to conclusively reveal a winner. But it wasn’t quite a damp squib. Quite the contrary, actually: the election served up all the drama of a World Cup semi-final. By KHADIJA PATEL and SIMON ALLISON.

Rumours wafting out of African Union HQ in Addis Ababa have given Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma a slight edge over Jean Ping going into the secret ballot on Monday morning.  South Africa has reportedly had pledges of support from 35 of the 51 countries eligible to vote. But many leaders have derided South Africa’s ambitions for the AU’s top job as an attempt to reinforce its hegemony over the rest of the continent. By KHADIJA PATEL.

Less than a month before Senegal’s elections, the country’s top court decided who was and wasn’t allowed to run for president. In was incumbent Abdoulaye Wade, term limits be damned; out was singer Youssou N’Dour. Senegalese opposition reacted furiously, but it’s going take a much more coordinated response to unseat Wade. By SIMON ALLISON.

It's not every day that one gets to inaugurate a building with some of the most murderous mofos in the not-so-free world. Welcome, then, to the new African Union headquarters, a very shiny building that came wrapped in a bow. On 28 January, we learned how proud we should be of this wonderful facility. Indeed. It has taken the African art of begging to new heights. By RICHARD POPLAK.

Since the Organisation of African Unity was formed in 1963, most of the gatherings of our pan-African institution—now known as the African Union—have been characterised by empty speeches and grandiloquent (often self-serving) back-slapping. But at the inauguration of the new AU headquarters in Addis Ababa, built for free by the Chinese, one head of state spoke a trenchant truth. KEVIN BLOOM was there to hear it.

In a fit of pique, South Sudan has completely shut down its oil production and announced grand plans to build a new pipeline to Kenya. This is designed to minimise its reliance on Khartoum, but it’s an overly drastic measure which only raises tensions in the already volatile region. By SIMON ALLISON.

Maybe it’s not meant to be arrogant, but that’s how it’s perceived. South Africa’s bid to install Dlamini-Zuma as AU chief will only solidify the negative opinions of South Africa on the continent. The problem is we’re becoming a lot like America – and it’s too late to stop now. By SIMON ALLISON.

It’s a modern-day murder mystery like few others: a dozy policeman, a mysterious companion, strange blue flames and a war hero found dead on his country farm. As the inquest into Solomon Mujuru’s death continues, it’s looking increasingly as if his death was no accident. But who killed him? And why? By SIMON ALLISON.

For the third time in the past 10 years, drought has returned to stalk the Sahel – the arid, western shoulder of Africa. To prevent a repeat of the famine in Somalia last year, aid agencies have warned the region could slip further into crisis if strong action is not taken immediately, but another African food emergency so soon after the Somali crisis may not augur well with donors. By KHADIJA PATEL.

Like most things in life, the Egyptian Revolution produced winners and losers. On the anniversary of its beginning, SIMON ALLISON looks at why the activists are introspective and the military is celebrating.